Just when you think it can't get worse..

Just when you think it can't get worse, NM shows up late. With his
mother. Mom wants to know why you pushed her child to the floor. You
explain that you did no such thing. She says you are dangerous.
Despite the perceived danger, she leaves her child in your care for
the day. Full house.

Just when you think it can't get worse, aforementioned student bangs
his head on the door repeatedly and asks to go to the nurse. When the
nurse asks what happened, he said you did it.

Just when you think it can't get worse, the kid you thought was
sleeping on the floor wakes up, announces that he has seen up your
skirt and discloses the color of your underwear to the entire class
(green).

Just when you think it can't get worse, a fly appears in the room. All
studets abandon their work to capture the fly. Two students bang
heads. They ask to go to the nurse. You have sent three head injuries
to the nurse today.

Just when you think it can't get worse, a student asks if you are
pregnant. You say no. He turns to the student next to him and says
"She ain't pregnant, she just fat."

Just when you think it can't get worse, you take your students to
cooking class to discover that a student in previous class screamed so
loud and so long he got a nosebleed. Because of AIDS, all blood is
treated as a biohazard so it takes 20 minutes to clean up. You have
lost 20 minutes of your lunch.

Just when you think it can't get worse, you are told that a middle
school student has stolen a master key and made copies. Since the
student andhis buddies have access to all rooms, you are encouraged to
lock up your stuff and check the stalls in the bathroom before you pee.

Just when you think it can't get worse, a student throws a chair that
knocks a stack of papers off your desk. Under the stack you find the
folder with your report cards in them. You see the due date was the 6.
It is the 16.

Just when you think it can't get worse, it is 3:00, the kids are gone,
the overdue report cards are in your bag, and you realize it is only
17 hours until you do this all again.

Report card time again...

Teachers shroud their report card comments in mystery. "A joy to have
in class." What does that mean? I have students that are joys to have
in class, but it doesn't mean they are particularly smart. They're
just funny.

Teachers can never say what they really mean in report cards. This is
especially true for teachers of students with behavior problems. "Your
son's vile language and body odor make him especially difficult to be
around" or "Your son needs to stop teasing others or else he's gonna
get his ass kicked" are not going to slide by the AP who looks them
over before they're sent out. So, here are some of my comments from
this report card season, as well as their translations.

"Student A is sensitive and often misinterprets situations" = "The kid
is psycho, hears voices and you need to medicate him."

"Student B's peer relations would improve if he were to respect the
property of others" = "Your kid steals and no one likes him."

"Student C lacks impulse control" = "He throws a tantrum at the
slightest provocation and needs to buck up."

"Student D is slightly immature for his age" = "What a fucking crybaby."

"Student E can often be destructive" = "He throws furniture."

"Student F's academic improvement would improve if he were more
focused" = "Your kid runs out of the room so misses quite a few
lessons."

"Student G can be disrespectful to adults, and needs to realize the
staff has his best interests at heart" = "The kid calls us nasty names
and we do not get paid enough to be called a dirty white bitch by an
eight year old."

"Student H would improve academically if he were to receive help on
his homework more regularly" = "You are a bad parent. It would be nice
if you gave a shit."

"Student I has an active imagination and is prone to storytelling" =
"Your kid lies and you are an idiot for believing anything he says."

The last report card comment I ever write, before I retire and
disappear into oblivion, is going to be:

"Your child is absolutely living up to his potential. He is just THAT
stupid."

Dear President Obama,

Dear President Obama,

I am a teacher at P000 in the South Bronx. It is a school
specifically for children with severe emotional disabilities. One of
my students tried to set his cat on fire; another her house aflame. I
have had two students stay for months in a psych ward because they
heard voices telling them to kill themselves or others. One of my
students gave another teacher a black eye last year. One spit in yet
another teacher's face.

Perhaps it sounds like a hopeless situation, but it is not.
Underneath all of their outbursts, illnesses and psychotropic
medication, they are children. And they want to learn. And I want to
teach.

The problem I face, beyond the obvious, is a lack of resources.
Many children in my school are so volatile they are mandated, by law,
to have a para professional tend only to them. Because of budget cuts,
administration and teachers are forced to choose which one of these
students "need" a para most. The law states that these children are
entitled to one on one assistance and yet, it is left up to the staff
to decide who can go without. There simply is not enough money to hire
the people we are legally obligated to provide.

In addition to staff, we have very few resources. We are out of
white paper. We're currently using blue. We used up all the yellow.
Pink is next. We have out of date atlases and globes. We have no
pencils. Our computers are missing keys. We have no printer ink. My
second graders are sitting on adult chairs because we ran out of early
childhood chairs. Desks are held together with tape and a prayer. I am
able to provide some supplies, but with my salary it is not possible
to supply enough.

In a nutshell- we need money. It sounds as if it is simplifying
the problem, but it is not. Money does not buy happiness but it is an
indication of value. How can these children value reading if we do not
have books? Writing if we have no pencils or computers? Math if we
have no calculators? Social studies and science with no globes or
rulers? Why should these children put any value on their own education
if we do not value them enough to give them desks that are in one
piece and chairs that fit?

My students idolize you. Not a day goes by where one is not
wearing a t shirt with your likeness or slogan plastered across the
front. You made them believe that they, too, CAN. And yet they come to
school everyday and are told they can't; that they don't even deserve
basic tools.

I do not think any of my students should be President. Were the
boy who set his cat on fire to run, he would not receive my vote (I
have two cats). The boys who periodically hear voices are, perhaps,
not up to the task of leading the free world. But for a brief moment
after your victory, all believed that they could. Who are we to tell
them otherwise?

----------------
Jamie Hoel
----------------