in class." What does that mean? I have students that are joys to have
in class, but it doesn't mean they are particularly smart. They're
just funny.
Teachers can never say what they really mean in report cards. This is
especially true for teachers of students with behavior problems. "Your
son's vile language and body odor make him especially difficult to be
around" or "Your son needs to stop teasing others or else he's gonna
get his ass kicked" are not going to slide by the AP who looks them
over before they're sent out. So, here are some of my comments from
this report card season, as well as their translations.
"Student A is sensitive and often misinterprets situations" = "The kid
is psycho, hears voices and you need to medicate him."
"Student B's peer relations would improve if he were to respect the
property of others" = "Your kid steals and no one likes him."
"Student C lacks impulse control" = "He throws a tantrum at the
slightest provocation and needs to buck up."
"Student D is slightly immature for his age" = "What a fucking crybaby."
"Student E can often be destructive" = "He throws furniture."
"Student F's academic improvement would improve if he were more
focused" = "Your kid runs out of the room so misses quite a few
lessons."
"Student G can be disrespectful to adults, and needs to realize the
staff has his best interests at heart" = "The kid calls us nasty names
and we do not get paid enough to be called a dirty white bitch by an
eight year old."
"Student H would improve academically if he were to receive help on
his homework more regularly" = "You are a bad parent. It would be nice
if you gave a shit."
"Student I has an active imagination and is prone to storytelling" =
"Your kid lies and you are an idiot for believing anything he says."
The last report card comment I ever write, before I retire and
disappear into oblivion, is going to be:
"Your child is absolutely living up to his potential. He is just THAT
stupid."
Hilarious!!!.
ReplyDeleteLovu you,
Dad